Bio: My blog escapades have followed me across 4 states, 3 jobs, a business venture, and a new husband. There are no mini divas yet but I have loads of nieces and nephews to slobber and wipe their dirty hands on me. I am an amateur pastry chef, certified cake decorator, and seasoned home cook who knows how to pair French cuiseine with fine wine, collard greens and cornbread. You'll find a little bit of everything around here.....where I take talking to myself to a whole new level.
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Life Part 2
March 8th, 2010I didn’t watch allllllll of the Academy Awards because the forced humor and dialog was boring but I am excited to no end that Sandra Bullock won! I watched The Blind Side and I enjoyed the hell out of her performance.
You wanna hear a funny story? Read the rest of this entry “
Life
March 4th, 2010Yeah Yeah…..I know I’ve been absent. AGAIN…life is going on man. I have a new site that I’m working on and I’m really excited about it. But it’s taking a lot of my time to get it ready. And like I said….LIFE tends to dictate the amount of time we have to sit down and blog. At this moment I’m preparing for an interview and watching Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior on the Disney Channel. Love this movie!
Don’t give up on me……keep coming back and I will too. LOL
Library Anxiety
February 22nd, 2010The rise of psychological disorders has been one of the largest health crises of the 21st century, with a vast number of new and resurgent diseases dragging down brains across the globe. One of the most prevalent is anxiety disorders and mental conditions in which the bodyís natural panic reflex kicks in under inappropriate circumstances, removing the suffererís ability to deal properly with the stresses of life. Arguably the worst of these disorders is acute anxiety disorder. The afflicted are seized by full-bore panic attacks when triggered, with quickening heartbeat, sweating, dizziness and multiple other physical indicators.
Acute anxiety disorder attacks can last from five to twenty minutes, but many sufferers can be seized by waves of attacks over the period of several hours, dropping in and out of the anxious state multiple times. The outward symptomatic display of these attacks can often lead to social stigma, which can in turn lead to additional attacks. As a result, an estimated thirty percent of acute anxiety sufferers are agoraphobic as well, avoiding the outside world for fear of public panic attacks.
If you have never suffered an anxiety attack then you don’t understand. You think people are weird and need to just “get it together.” I got a late start this morning….later than usual. It was around 2pm when I made it to the library to set up shop and I had what I consider a long to do list. I needed to e-mail my guest for tomorrow’s show, talk to Carla – because she’s batting a thousand on comments and questions for the guests and I wanted her input on HBCU’s, e-mail TJ – who is next week’s guest, put together some samples for a writing gig, tweet (I know you’re thinking that sounds irrelevant but it’s about brand management), reply to my mother’s THREE e-mails, be productive, work on the family tree, decide when I’m going to Tulsa, and figure out which tribal records I need to request……and that’s the short list. I’m also working on 3 websites and the adventure seeker (insert sarcasm) in me decided to attempt building my own instead of going with pre-made templates that everyone uses. Then there is the design for the banner I need to get made for a bridal exp in April (I think I’ve got a great design for it….it came to me in the car). Anyway…..
My regular table at the library was taken.
I settled for the table closest to it…..which put me facing in a different direction. I couldn’t see the people coming off the stairs behind me. There was an odd light shining on my screen and causing a glare. I had close to 70 browser tabs open and at least 3 chat conversations and 2 Twitter conversations going on. I felt out of control. There were too many tabs open. I needed to check my school e-mail for final exam results. Are people looking at me when I play Farmville on Facebook? Are they judging me?
I got overwhelmed by browser tabs…….and not being at my table………..and I panicked.
I got hot.
I got cold.
My mind started racing.
I couldn’t breathe.
My mouth is dry.
I couldn’t touch my husband cause he wasn’t there (touch makes me feel better for some odd ass reason).
And I could feel the tears coming.
I was completely out of my comfort zone and panicking.
My first instinct was FLIGHT. I wanted to pack up all my stuff and come home BUT I hadn’t done anything productive! I was supposed to enjoy my time at the library and get lots of work done. I CAN NOT CRY IN THE DAMN LIBRARY. But I’m hot and the tears are coming and my heart is racing and everything’s going so fast and I can’t keep up and it’s going at super speed in my head and I CANT DO IT!
DIVA…..if you start crying in this damn library people will think you are crazy as a damn loon. BREATHE.
Inhale
WAIT
Exhale
Inhale
WAIT
Exhale
Press play on iTunes……the Rent soundtrack. There is no future. There is no past. Thank God this moment’s not the last. There’s only us. There’s only this. Forget regret. Or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today.
Breathe
I had a freaking panic attack at the damn library and forced myself to sit there in that seat and stay til 5pm……my usual time. I wrote about it because I have to get it out of my head. Less in my head is literally less in my head. And I wanted to explain to people how it feels to lose control in your head and how it affects you in the mildest of places….like the public library.
Diva’s Greatest Post
February 21st, 2010I’m looking to identify the 3 best posts that I have ever written……from a journalistic approach. These are the top 10 in MY opinion and for the next 7 days I’ll be taking a vote. Leave a comment with your vote for the best post I’ve ever written.
THANKS and I appreciate your opinions!
The History of Black Wall Street
Black Romance in Cinema – Real Talk
February 20th, 2010I’m sitting in the bed watching my husband watch Love Jones on his laptop and it reminded me of a conversation I had with Big Sister Gorgeous One last week about the lack of Black Romance movies, Belle’s post and Tyler Perry.
Diva: Check out Belle’s post today.
TJ: a belle in brooklyn is talkin bout willie lynch? I may need a drink
Diva: No you won’t…lol.
TJ: ok…why dont tyler perry films count? They making money.
Diva: She had me in the beginning but I got lost in the middle. Cause Tyler Perry’s characters aren’t “normal” according to the standards she established with the Love Jones comparison.
TJ: They’re romantic stories.
Diva: She’s saying that we don’t know people like those characters.
TJ: Don’t know people like Tyler Perry characters? Really?
Diva: I BELIEVE that’s the point she’s trying to make. But that’s about where I got confused…with the wheel…and the underclass. But I think it’s a good start. Because I agree….I would love to see more romantic comedies with black people LIKE ME
TJ: I don’t. Actually I see why I quit reading Belle in Brooklyn. Black people like you? Oh the right socio-economic status….gotcha.
Diva: And same interests! Here’s an example since we’re talking about Tyler Perry. What was that damn movie….Daddy’s Girls? I don’t have girlfriends hooking up with the barely working father of 3 by the crack whore
TJ: Ok…Here is the deal with Tyler Perry. His films – they make a profit. So somebody sees something in them.
Diva: That shit don’t take me away to fantasy land and make me wanna see em over and over again.
TJ: And I will be really glad when all of the people who look down on his films. Get some 8mm cameras and some passes to Sundance since they so culturally inclined or think they are.
Diva: I think we support Tyler Perry’s movies because we want to see more of ourselves in movies. And that at some point we’re going to expect more from him
TJ: All of his films arent daddys girls
Diva: As a consumer I have a right to expect more from him as a film maker
TJ: Some of y’all had a problem with Precious and I’m sorry
Diva: You always throwing up the yalls!
TJ: Yep
Diva: Divisive ass! I LIKED PRECIOUS!
TJ: I ain’t divisive. When you have a post that starts out attacking his films, when he done built a studio…and is providing real roles for folk…not to mention buying into a project like Precious…maybe that’s his pathway into more substantial work….his entree if you will.
Diva: Truth be told…..Tyler ain’t put his name on that shit til after Lee Daniels had taken it to the indie crowd. Is she really attacking his films or just using them as an example?
TJ: See he went out and wrote the plays and got the films made, shot it in his house. Where is the work ethic of the folk who always feel the need to take a shot? I mean outside of spike lee? And heck, it would even be tolerable if all the yip yappers went and financed SPIKE LEE films! But that would be too much like constructive.
Diva: HEY~I support Spike!
TJ: Most of the bougie yet pretentious elite does not. If they did, then his movies would be makin profits too. Like Tyler’s. LOLOLOL
Diva: So are you saying that the bourgie yet pretentious elite is who supports Tyler?
TJ: No. I’m saying they complain yet by and large they are not constructively supporting alternatives.
Diva: But TJ you have to agree that there is a big difference in Love Jones and Why Did I Get Married. It didn’t even have any substance. And haven’t we decided that Sharon and the actress who plays Angela are one trick ponies? Can’t we get some more Brown Sugars and some Love & Basketballs? Hell….some Claudines!
TJ: Yes, but the folks who made Brown Sugar and Love and Basketball ain’t makin em no mo. So it’s time for the new jacks to step up with they 8mms and they Sundance credentials.
Diva: Well why the hell not? Where they at?
TJ: Well folk like Tracey are into reality tv cause it pays more and Kenneth ain’t there to tell her “oh hell naw”
no more. Other folk are just doing mainstream projects cause thats what gets green lighted….if that in this economy. Miramax HAS been shut down!
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