Stream of Consciousness: Packing is Depressing

My anxiety has kicked in.  I went from feeling like things were going right in the world on Friday to doubting that something good is coming my way.  How sad is that!  On Friday I was flying high about my new apartment and today I can’t keep the question out of my head “what if I don’t get approved?”  The extra crazy part of that anxiety comes from the face that I’ve NEVER been denied for an apartment before.  NEVER.   But all of a sudden someone saying “calm down….you haven’t even been approved yet” and someone else asking “when will you know if you’ve been approved” have me on the edge.

And on top of that I can’t decide if packing is depressing or if my moods are just taking that tumble that they take on their own every month.  I mean seriously….I should be super excited about getting into a better situation and working more on being comfortable.  But as I packed up my kitchen I thought “I’ll never have roots.”

I am literally a detriment to myself!  I know it but……sigh…..it still happens.

I have good things going on.  Five companies in Chicago called me for interviews last week.  This new apartment will help me save a BUNCH of money.  I have a full tank of gas.  And my cousin is going to come help me move this stuff Thursday night.  Oh and another friend is going to help me reassemble the desk I’m disassembling to fit in the truck.

But my mind keeps going back to what if I don’t get approved…what will I do then?

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post on Fadra’s blog (linked in the image above).
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Thanks for visiting Diva (in Demand).  My blog escapades have followed me across 4 states, 3 jobs, a business venture, and a new husband. There are no mini divas yet but I have loads of nieces and nephews to slobber and wipe their dirty hands on me. I am an amateur pastry chef, certified cake decorator, and seasoned home cook who knows how to pair French cuiseine with fine wine, collard greens and cornbread. You'll find a little bit of everything around here.....where I take talking to myself to a whole new level.