Yep….a Random Friday Ramble.  I logged on to make a short comment about the quote from the movie The Great Debaters……I have to remain focused on doing what I HAVE to do so that I can do what I WANT to do.  whew!

Here’s a fun fact: The key character of the move, Melvin B. Tolson, went on to teach at Langston University (my alma mater) following his tenure at Wiley College.  I spent my 4 years at Langston as a volunteer worker in the Melvin B. Tolson Black Heritage Center.  *proud moment for me*

Today I am grading papers…I have two overlapping courses and I was just assigned my third course for October.  Can I handle it?  If I want the check I’ll handle it.  It’s not even a question that bears asking.  I’m alternating my time between that and finishing up a new business plan that I am working on.  I haven’t spoken about my event design business in a while and this new venture is not directly related to it (right now….it will be eventually).  This is something I have a passion for and the only thing that could possibly hold me back from it is self imposed fear.  So I said to myself today…how DARE I stop myself from at least TRYING!

Funny story….I was talking to Alyson about my new business idea and my self doubt and that heffa told me that I think too much (hence the title of today’s post).  While I was reading today’s chapter in the book, the same thought came to my mind.  STOP THINKING AND START DOING.  BTW…I’d be pissed if someone else said that to me. LOL

I’m also interviewing with companies that would put me back in the corporate workforce.

Right now…in this moment…regardless of anything else…I feel good about life.

I’m still reading Write It Down Make It Happen.  I need to finish it because it actually belongs to my husband.  But I can’t rush through it.  I have to take time and meditate over each piece of information.  Then I journal or blog about it.  There was a story in there that I read today and it brought me to tears in the middle of Quizno’s.   Yeah…I go to spots with free wifi to grade papers and read and write.  :)

I hope everyone checked out last night’s show.  As we were talking I thought we sounded pretty good and informed.  We’re working on some really fun upcoming shows and blogs and I hope you guys tune in.  :)

Have a good day….ON PURPOSE!

I feel as though I should have tons of insightful and thought provoking posts about our summer.  When I first landed back in Chicago I thought I did…..but the shit I have in my head isn’t organized enough to share.  I wrote.  I studied.  I worked.  I hung out with friends.  I read.  I cooked and baked.  I thought alot.  I lived.  I do have some highlights though.

I spent two months in Vegas and while I was there I got the chance to hang out with Alyson and the Daughters of Destiny.  LOVE THOSE GIRLS!  I have officially added to my niece count.  My favorite memory: Aaliyah managed to climb between the counter and the fridge and got stuck.  I heard a little voice saying “TiTi help me!” and saw some feet dangling.  I had a great time hanging out with Alyson…..it’s odd to call now and not be across town talking about buffets. LOL  I miss them.

Atlanta was a great place.  It’s a city I never wanted to visit or like.  Contrary to popular belief there IS a such thing as too many black folks in one spot.  Trust me. I enjoyed being back in the south.  Nothing reminds me of home like a Gardenia tree and there were several in the area we were living in.  When I was in high school there was a gardenia tree in the backyard of the house I lived in.  When the blooms would be just about to open I would pluck one from the branch and put it in a cup of water on my dresser.  The next day, when I got home from school, the fragrance would be overpowering!  I loved it.  Atlanta will hold a dear place in my heart for reminding me about my gardenias and the good times of those days.  The houses in Atlanta are absolutely beautiful and thanks to the economy it’s possible to live in a mansion on a hill in Buckhead or Duluth with a gate and a winding drive that disappears from sight behind sprawling landscaping.  At another time and place….I’d consider moving there.  But I missed the familiarity and friendliness of Chicago near the end.  Truth be told I was missing my crazy ass sister in law like nothing you’d believe. LOL

I didn’t want to leave Vegas.  Hell….the day we left for Vegas I didn’t want to leave Chicago.  But there is something about having a friend nearby that makes you want to stay.  But I couldn’t.  The opportunities just weren’t there like I needed them to be.

So I’m back in Chicago.  People keep asking if we’re here to stay…..I can honestly say I don’t know.  I’d love to stay here, but I want it to be on my own terms.  The plus side is that I have a very clear picture of just what exactly my terms are.  I’m reading a book from the Original Oldgirl LadyLee called Write it Down and Make it Happen.  Two things have become clear to me since I’ve started reading it.  The first is that writing down all I want (even the things most would find outlandish) has helped me visualize it and it doesn’t look that farfetched to me.  In that process I begun looking at successful people who I admire and asking the questions that I’d used to hold me back.  For example, my friend Janetta owns a Massage Envy franchise.  Does Janetta know anything about massages?  Hell naw.  When I asked Janetta about her knowledge of anything massage prior to opening her doors her answer to me was “Diva, I’m the business owner.  That’s all I need to know about the business baby.”

Then I looked at Oprah Winfrey, who studied Communications in college.  Nothing she studied prepared her for acting, producing, being a political activist, opening a school in Africa, or being a billionaire.  She just set her mind on what she wanted and got it.

The book begins by telling you to write down all of the things you want….ALL OF THEM because you can have them all.  I want to share with you something from my list and an excerpt from my personal journal.

I want to own a vineyard.  I want to sit on my porch in the early mornings and admire the grapes growing before me that will eventually go into making the fine wines I enjoy sipping on.

It’s probably after midnight already.  I’m still reading “Write It Down and Make It Happen.”  The one thing that is standing out to me the most is that since I have written down things I want…I am actually believing  that I will achieve them.  I wonder why that is.  What is different between a year ago and today where I believe that I will own a vineyard.  The book states that  writing things down actualy opens you up to receiving it.  Do you think there is some truth to that?

That’s what I’m meditating on right now.  I slacked in my meditation over the past year.  I’ve grown back into it because my mind is moving too much.  I need to find a way to sort through my thoughts and find some clarity up in here.

I’m a closet racist.  There are entirely too many black people who do not know that they are free  in America.  There are communities that are self sufficient amongs themselves….they don’t need black people to thrive and they are damn sure going to let you know it.  I have been to a bank in a heavily populated hispanic area here in Chicago and been ignored over other spanish speaking customers.  I can’t say too much bad about the bank…they are taking care of themselves!  We are the ones that need to do better.

This past Sunday I sat in Dave & Buster’s watching the Cowboys game on tv.  I had on my FIVE TIME CHAMPIONS shirt and was engrossed in the game.  My total experience was already bordering on somebody getting cussed out when they scored their final touchdown.  This joker comes over to me from another table and asks me if they scored a touchdown.  I replied yes and his ass said “will you show me your touchdown dance?”

DA HELL I LOOK LIKE TO YOU!  THIS AIN’T NO DAMN NEW AGED STEP AND FUCKIN FETCHIT! THIS THE KINDA SHIT I’M TALKING ABOUT.  NEXT A MOFO GON BE ASKING ME BOUT BIRTHIN A FUCKIN BABY!

Aside from my grandmother’s side of the family….I’m really starting not to like white people.

You can add this man to the list of people I don’t like.  NO ONE in the restaurant stepped up to help this woman.  That is my first issue.  My second is that when I heard about it and asked my other half when the march to Atlanta would be (cause I need to be there with my sign), he told me that there wouldn’t be one because we’re too busy talking about Kanye West.

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

We’ve got to do better.  We’ve got to not be afraid to step up and help somebody else.  We’ve got to stop letting entertainment television take control of our lives.  It’s a trick folks!  It’s the way the world keeps us from paying attention to what really matters.  Don’t email me about Kanye or Beyonce or Chris Brown.  I don’t give a shit.  I’m trying to understand why a Congressman can call the President a liar IN PUBLIC and be called a hero by some.  You know why?  Cause we don’t know we’re free.  Free people demand justice dammit.

But I’ll tell you what.  If you’re going to remain continuously caught up in entertainment news and television, still be free and act like it.  If you are a Real Housewives of Atlanta fan, explain to me why it’s okay for EVERYONE on the internet to talk about how “ghetto” and “hood” they are, but when Theresa’s ass flipped a damn table in Jersey….she was a spirited Italian.

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

Who knows what will be on my mind later…..