Just a few days ago (maybe a few weeks, who knows) I wrote this post.  It was basically me telling the world out loud what I want to be when I grow up…the big boss in the big box.  When I look at my CFO I see all of that.  She has the big box (a beautiful corner office) with a company car and loads of money.  The only problem I see is that she is at work at least 12 hours a day, seven days a week.  Did you hear me?  SEVEN DAYS A WEEK!  How unattractive is that?

You see, when I started thinking about this dream in detail I knew that I had the intelligence, drive, motivation, and personality to be successful in a high powered corporate career in finance.  Nobody told me that what I also needed was the desire to not have a life.

A few weeks ago my (he frowns when I call him just a friend but I’m not sure he’s a boyfriend yet) special person told me that I fit the “Condoleeza Profile”.  We know it.  We’ve seen it.  We have friends who are living it.  Black women whose eyes are SO focused on the prize that they voluntarily make the decision to not have a social life, family, or a lot of friends.  All they have time for is moving up the corporate ladder.  Every “successful” corporate sista isn’t fitting this profile.  There are those of us (like myself) who would give all this up in an instant for my husband and our babies.  I also told you in that post that I’d stay at home and make cupcakes….EASILY.

So looking at my CFO (who is of a different race by the way), I have to wonder; Can I have the big box AND a life?  If I have to have THAT much dedication then there’s no way in hell I’m going to make it.

I guess maybe I need to spend a little time re-evaluating my big girl dreams.  Because I HAVE to eventually grow up.