There used to be a guy and every time I would think about this guy I would lose it……couldn’t breathe, racing heart beat, cold sweat….the works.  Not in a good way though.  More like the panicked rush I would get working an event where the fireworks didn’t explode as the couple kissed like I had planned.  Pure, unadulterated anxiety.  It’s a condition I have suffered from for years but I always ignored it.  But it got worse as I got older.  The perfectionist in me was making me physically ill.  I felt like I should be able to do everything in the world and when I couldn’t I was a failure.  It was horrible.

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