Friend for almost 12 years, Smiley and I were never attracted to each other at the same time.  Truth be told, even after 12 years we didn’t want a relationship with each other but we were physically curious.  Even now I couldn’t explain it if I had to.

The sex was okay….practically good….in respect that he was better than the men before him.  Nothing special enough to go into detail about but good.  Curiosity satisfied.  Time to move on.  Then I met McDreamy and the sex with him was mind blowing….not just better than the last but better than them all.  I felt like calling my exes and telling them how cheated how felt.  They couldn’t ever touch me again if they begged.  Smiley went from a 8 out of 10 to an overly gracious 4…..McDreamy was holding strong at 11!  At some point during my McDreamy adventure when we were not speaking and I was attempting to end everything, I had an itch and I let Smiley scratch it.   That is officially the worst sex I have ever had.  It felt like I had gone from living the fabulous life in a mansion to being homeless and eating out of trash cans.  He didn’t have that same instinct to read that I had been experiencing.  He stumbled around as if he was an amateur and I had to give him detailed instructions on how to please.  If even has read my blog enough then they know that I don’t play with the quality of my sex.  I  don’t believe I even waited for him to finish.   I was miserable and he had to get the hell out immediately.  So I got up, threw on my cute little bedside robe and told him just that…….you can go home now. Bye.

That memory is what helps me remember why I’m celibate until I find passion.