Are You Special Enough for Yourself?

After the various disastrous relationships I’ve been involved in I have come up with a single rule…..a simple Do and a simple Don’t.  Don’t hurt me and Do treat me special.  It may even sound oversimplified but I’ll be 39 in 3 months and we’re old enough to deal in basic principles at this stage in our lives.

I NEED to feel special.  I NEED to feel like I’m the center of someone’s universe.  That may be because I’m an only child or it may be because I’m spoiled or it may even be because I’m yearning something I never received before.  But it’s a definitive need for me and I’m comfortable enough to make that clear upfront.  The conflict comes into play in defining what makes a person feel special.  Are you worried about how your partner is making other people feel as well or do you simply focus on how he/she makes you feel.  Is you feeling special more important than actions that you consider would make those other people feel special?  How do you know that those actions you deem as special make them feel that way?  Calling every day may make you feel special but mean nothing to someone else.  Just something to consider.

While mentally debating on this topic and after 16 minutes of meditation concentrating on the mantra I AM I began to ask myself why I rely on someone else to make me feel special.  Am I special to myself?  Why wouldn’t that be enough?  How do I define special?  And what does special mean?  So here I was upset about a concept that I truly didn’t understand myself which means that I need to make some adjustments to my thinking and expectations.

The lesson here is when you hold someone to an expectation that you can not clearly define for yourself then you have set the relationship up to fail in advance.

Living with Bipolar Disorder – Part 2

I don’t know if I can effectively explain what depression feels like to someone who has never experienced it. Contrary to popular belief and misunderstanding it is not the same as just being sad or down in the dumps. I know a lot of people have read articles about winter . . . → Continue reading: Living with Bipolar Disorder – Part 2

I Don’t Like You

Back when I was a freshman in college there was a young lady that I didn’t like. I didn’t have a reason and didn’t have to. I just didn’t like her. One night at bible study she leaned over to the pastor and asked him for a specific verse. When . . . → Continue reading: I Don’t Like You